Re-defining my "Why" & Why "it" Matters

Have you ever been so enthusiastic about something that you end up biting off more than you can chew? That’s exactly where I found myself earlier this year and the following blog post details more about my journey inward and how I’ve been gnawing away out from my self-induced Super-Sized portion of WAY TOO MUCH!

In the words of the great David Byrne, “…. well, how did I get here?”

When I first started Way Art Yonder Studio in 2016, my “why” was simple; bring the best mixed media classes to San Diego. I was clear, I was focused, and I was successful. I had very little difficulty attracting many of the brightest artists in mixed media and the book arts to come teach in my studio. Classes sold out quickly and wait lists were deep. It was WONDERFUL.

The last workshop at Way Art Yonder in 2020 finished just a few days before all the United States went into a total shutdown mode. I still remember naively thinking things would be shut down for a couple of weeks, the threat of this unknown virus would wane, and life would resume and workshops too! I can only look back at that now and laugh at how two weeks stretched out to nearly 3 years before the studio reopened.

During the time the studio was closed, I went through a lot of feelings, loss and turmoil, regarding the continued closure of my business. Unfortunately, the chasm between what people felt and wanted, versus what other people felt and wanted, was too wide to appease everyone. I remained closed until we reached a point, where nearly everyone felt safe again with gatherings in enclosed spaces, face masks were purely optional, no requirements to divulge vaccination status, and I wouldn’t be tasked with the duty of having to monitor people’s face mask wearing capabilities, screen temperatures, or medical histories. I waited until I could reopen without people forcing their opinions on what I should or shouldn’t be doing and saved my sanity at the same time.

The COVID-19 closures were hard for many, including small businesses like mine, but I had the privilege to remain closed until it made sense to re-open. I watched and waited patiently for the right time and to “tide me over” and repay some of the studio remodeling/improvements, I took out a low interest SBA loan. I was asked to teach online on a friend’s platform and got past my technical fear of video-editing, successfully taught group classes and most recently, my own solo class! (I also developed course content for in-person classes and my class was the very first class at WAY of 2023!)

 

Mid-way through 2020, I realized we weren’t going to reopen any time soon, and since the Studio was not my personal studio, I began bringing more and more of my art supplies down to the Studio classroom because well, it’s just so much better than my small home office!  Having the space to spread out and create on a whim was exciting and I was very prolific during the closure. I would frequently work on several projects at the same time and usually had all the worktables completely covered in simultaneous projects: bookmaking, book collaborations, encaustics, painting, collage, art journaling, assemblage, sculpting, printmaking! I got to rediscover and revisit old interests and skills. It was WONDERFUL and productive and oh, I had so much FREEDOM and TIME to choose materials and follow my curiosities down rabbit holes before going off down another one. It was one of the most wonderful times in my creative life!

 

Gradually, the world started to open back up and I spent a lot of 2022 in FOMO mode (Fear of Missing Out) and saw people gathering again, attending in-person retreats both in the US and abroad. The number of cases and deaths were in steady decline, and I really had missed creating in the company of others. I made a snap decision in the Fall of 2022 to re-open and immediately rebranded and made the announcement: WAY Reopening in 2023!  The response was every bit as enthusiastic as I could hope for and quickly got workshops that were cancelled in 2020/2021 back on the calendar for 2023. I was also approached by other artists whose work I admired, some I didn’t really know, and I said yes to EVERYTHING and EVERYONE! And it was WONDERFUL.

Until it wasn’t.

Algorithms made WAY social media virtually unseen on most feeds because it had been a “dead” account for so long. Even my own Gmail stuck my newsletters in the the Spam folder! So frustrating! Getting the word out became an even  much more serious task that translated into many additional hours spent marketing and interacting on social media in hopes the Algorithm gods would take kindly to me.

Once the studio re-opened, the level of enthusiasm didn’t always correspond with people signing up for classes. People were excited about a workshop or artist, but they never registered for the class. Marketing any class requires time and energy, and if the decision was made to cancel a class due to low enrollment, that translated into a lot of hours that went unpaid on the administrative and marketing end. Websites still needed to be updated and hosting fees paid, templates for the class, contracts, supply lists, all had to be developed prior to launching the class, and in the case of cancellation, refunds and correspondence to students who had enrolled. The time and energy went unrewarded.

Other venues were booking some of the same artists I had and in close geographic proximity, we competed for the same audience, resulting in lower-than-normal enrollment for classes and in some cases, classes were cancelled due to low enrollment. Loss of expected income is always a loss; nobody wins at the end of the day, students, teachers and venues.

Since re-opening, some instructors wanted to be paid much higher fees than pre-Covid pricing, and my event insurance, utilities and other overhead costs have tripled, driving up the cost of registration. Registration fees are calculated by the number of days of instruction, artist’s rate per person per day, plus the venue costs associated with each class. So, when faced with an instructor who is demanding extremely high fees, I also must justify my business expenses in hopes we can arrive at a negotiated price point and keep registration somewhat affordable. Sometimes we’re successful, and sometimes we aren’t and sometimes, we decide it’s not a good fit for them to teach here.  C’est la vie!

Suffice to say there are so many unseen things that go into running a successful, welcoming, and inspiring venue, that most people don’t realize the effort that goes into scheduling, planning, marketing, cleaning, shopping, hosting, and producing the workshop. And it appears effortless, but only because so much effort has gone into creating a smooth and stellar experience for both the instructor and the students. Trust me when I say I’m exhausted after everyone leaves. Happy, and yet really exhausted.  

But all that is why I get paid the big bucks (wink wink) . . .

Which brings me to today and why I am redefining my “why” because where I was in 2016 and where I am at the end of 2023 are two very different places.

This is where I am today:

I have no time left over between workshops for my own art.  That’s it as plainly as possible.

I am unable to freely go into the studio and mess things up and get into a creative frenzy, spending hours chasing ideas down rabbit holes. No time for happy accidents, curiosity, and discovery. No time for synthesizing what I’ve learned with my own spin on it. No time for me.

When I create something and share it on social media, one of the first comments or questions is “whose class did you take”? Which may seem like an innocent question, and yet, it stings when someone says oh, you must have taken so-and-so’s class, except you’re showing off something you created with your own mind and own two-hands 35 years ago. It’s disheartening and at the same time encouraging that my creativity is still relevant and important.

Boohoo. I know. BUT … after some serious soul searching, I’ve arrived here – which is a better place than where I was earlier in the year.

My “why” has since expanded to include my growth as an artist, my attention toward my own development, my desire to create a body of work, my enjoyment of teaching my own classes and inspiring students. The need to slow down, focus on Jana Freeman, Artist, is essential to my well-being and continued growth. I think I can manage to do both Way Art Yonder Studio, the venue, and Jana Freeman, the artist, but things will need to change for it to work.

Way Art Yonder Studio will continue to offer classes, but the classes will be selected based on my criteria and how that fits into my overall quest for skill improvements for Jana Freeman, Artist. For instance, my goal for 2024 is to work more on my painting AND I have many other mediums I’d like to explore, so stay tuned. Grow with me!

Will there be fewer classes? Probably. Time is not an infinite thing, so I must be smarter about where and how I choose to spend my time. It could mean there will be fewer in-person classes at my studio and more group tours or as I like to call them, “Wander Yonders” to travel together and learn in another artist’s studio.

I don’t have it all figured out yet, but this is a good start to explain where I’m at presently. As my focus and my “why” continues to become clearer, I’ll communicate that to you.

Cheers,

Jana